


Why Am I Not Surprised?

by desikauwa



Series: Target Lovers [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Comedy, Discussion Of Murder, M/M, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, assassin oikawa, physical therapist iwaizumi, thinking about homiecide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 18:54:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13347402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desikauwa/pseuds/desikauwa
Summary: Oikawa is forcibly on vacation becausesomeonecoughbokutocoughdecided to not follow through on a job. Of course this means meeting up with his childhood best friend and unrequited love Iwaizumi. (It's all a lot funnier than it sounds)





	Why Am I Not Surprised?

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to the iwaoi oneshot in this universe. stay tuned for the next one (whenever that happens).

Oikawa hadn't been back hometown in a few years. Oh he'd stayed in touch but being part of a group of highly trained and very successful assassins kept him very busy.

The only reason why he was even back was because Bokuto just had to make a target his boyfriend. Instead of taking him out like the client wanted, Bokuto took said target out on a date.

It was all very cute but also highly annoying for two reasons. One Oikawa liked to stay busy and always be working so he didn't have to come home to see the one person he was determined to avoid. Two Oikawa didn't want to see said person because he'd remember all the reasons why he was so jealous of the fact that Bokuto now had a boyfriend.

Oikawa sighed from where he was laying on his bed in his childhood home. It was time to stop avoiding that one person and attack head on.

This new found bravado lasted up until Oikawa was standing in front of the clinic. What if he didn't want to see Oikawa? What if he had someone already? What if…

The door opened and a voice came out. "Are you going to stand in front of my workplace asking yourself what if questions until you chicken out Shittykawa?"

Oikawa turned to see the one he had spent years avoiding looking just as hot as the last time they'd seen each other if not hotter.

"Geh Iwa chan. Can't you be nicer to someone you haven't seen in years?"

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. "See if it weren't for the fact that we video call at least once a month, I could let you get away with that excuse. So you going to tell me why you've been avoiding us meeting up in person these last few years or are you going to avoid that too?"

Oikawa let out a fake sounding laugh. "Whatever do you mean Iwa chan? I haven't been avoiding you at all. My job just keeps me very busy that's all."

Iwaizumi gave Oikawa an incredulous look. "Right. That's why you haven't come home. I'm closing up right now so do you want to go get ramen after this so we can talk."

Oikawa pretended to think it over. "Well I am on vacation right now so I don't see why not."

Iwaizumi grinned. "Great. It's your treat."

Oikawa whined. "Eeeh Iwa chan that's so rude. Your friend has come back to visit and this is how you treat him."

"Well considering how work has kept said friend busy I'm sure he has plenty of money to treat me with."

 

It was during the dinner when Iwaizumi dropped the bomb shell on Oikawa.

"So I'm moving to Tokyo soon."

Oikawa choked on his food. As Oikawa coughed, Iwaizumi carefully patted him on the back.

"Is this how you plan on killing me? Surprise me while I eat and then just let me choke to death."

Iwaizumi gave Oikawa a blank stare. "Yes that's absolutely it. Exactly what I was planning on doing."

The two friends looked at each other for a moment before they burst out laughing.

It took them a bit to calm down because the minute they made eye contact, they'd start laughing again. 

It wasn't until they were walking back to their parents' homes that Oikawa was ready to ask Iwaizumi about his news.

"So what's this about you moving to Tokyo?"

Iwaizumi shrugged. "Well the clinic I'm working at is connected to one in Tokyo and they're short on staff and we don't get as much traffic. Also seeing as how my best friend can't make his way to me, I thought it was time I went to him."

Oikawa awkwardly laughed. "Ahaha, well Iwa chan, I still won't have a lot of time to meet up. My job keeps me very busy after all."

Iwaizumi's eyes narrowed. "So you've said. Multiple times actually. Yet your hours are all over the place and always changing daily. You ever going to tell me the truth about what you actually do other than it keeps you busy?"

Oikawa mulled over the question trying to figure out what excuse he could give about his job that wouldn't make his best friend suspicious.

"You know what, I'm just going to make a guess."

Oikawa looked up in horror. The last time Iwaizumi had tried to guess what kept Oikawa busy, he had guessed that Oikawa had eloped with someone and was too afraid to let his parents know.

Iwaizumi certainly didn't disappoint. "So are you a male escort?"

Oikawa shrieked. "What? No! Why would you think that?"

Iwaizumi shrugged. "Well you're busy but make your own hours. The only reason why you're here is because one of your coworkers got a boyfriend and you all decided to take a break to decide what to do next."

Oikawa was still reeling from the question. "That still doesn't mean I'm an escort."

"Well it's the only legal job I can think of. I guess this means you're doing something that's technically illegal. Are you a prostitute then? You know I won't judge."

Oikawa was horrified. "Iwa chan stop trying to guess what I do. Who put these ideas in your head? Was it Makki? I'll kill him."

Iwaizumi looked carefully at Oikawa. "So Makki does know what you actually do. I wasn't sure if he did or not but he certainly dropped hints that he did."

Oikawa growled under his breath. "I should have killed Makki when I had a chance."

Iwaizumi snorted. "No you wouldn't mister assassin. For all he annoys you sometimes, Makki is one of your best friends."

Oikawa gaped. "How did you know?"

Iwaizumi looked at Oikawa carefully. "How did I know what? That you were an assassin. Did you really think I wouldn't find out?"

Oikawa shook his head. "I mean I knew you were going to find out eventually but I thought it'd be you getting it out of me."

Iwaizumi took Oikawa's hands in his. "Look Tooru. You're my best friend and I know you have your reasons for what you do. I just wish you would have let me support you through these last few years."

Oikawa stared at their combined hands. "I guess I should have told you before this Hajime. I was just scared you'd leave me because of it."

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. "Wow I swear Tokyo has made you dumb Shittykawa."

With that Iwaizumi let go of Oikawa's hands and ran before Oikawa could hit him. "Mean Iwa chan! You should be nicer to me. I could kill you if I wanted to."

Iwaizumi yelled over his shoulder. "You like me too much to kill me. By the way it was Takeru that told me when he found out I was moving to Tokyo."

Oikawa froze in place as Iwaizumi escaped. He should have known that it was his nephew that had betrayed him. Just for that Oikawa was going to buy Takeru's favorite snacks and eat all of it in front of him. But Oikawa had to give Takeru give some credit. This way, Oikawa could invite Iwaizumi to be his roommate in Tokyo without having to hide the truth at all.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [tumblr](http://desikauwa.co.vu/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/legendofdivya)


End file.
